more surgery

Alot has happened in a very short period of time. We found out my soon-to-be-born son was in breech position at 35 weeks. At 36 they said he had turned. At 37 they said no he didn't and at 38 (to the day) my water broke. They had wanted to schedule a c-section after the External version was unsuccessful to get the baby to turn. We simply did not have time because my water broke 2 days afterwards. We were faced with the awful choice of Cesarean or breech birth. Steven was beside himself, in his head all he heard was breech birth loose the baby, C-section loose the wife. Neither of us was prepared for a c-section since my first labor had gone so smoothly. But that is what we ended up choosing. We tried to goof around with the silly outfits and the thermometer on my forehead but we were both nervous. I was terrified of the catheter of all things. But my mother came to be with steve, and they took me back for the epidural. Steve came in and stayed with me. We heard the baby cry and we both smiled and laughed. He was beautiful. The recovery so far has been a piece of cake compared to my natural delivery last time. My husband is stretched to his limit. We just bought a new Journey to have room for the kids, the prius was a joke with 2 car seats and a dog. I already miss my car. Steve also has the NCO board to try to become a Sergeant. I am really proud of him for all the studying he has done. I know he is stressed and I am really trying to help him out. ahh life is stressful, and wonderful all at the same time. It is raining a gorgeous rain here in upstate New york and there is nothing I would rather see right now than a thunderstorm (besides my husband that is.)

Surgery

Steven's surgery was last Tuesday. His clavicle had almost an inch of bone burned off the end of it. I was terrified, he, was as cool as cucumber. Until we headed home of course. It took forever to clear from work, and get his RX filled. He also had a drip of Novocaine into the surgery site. So after about 2 days of constant Pain medications, Ice and sleeping, we headed back to the Dr. They said his arm looks great and he could even shower... I was thrilled. Unfortunately, that did not mean he could wash himself. But he has been fantastic to have around. Especially tonight. Catherine choked herself on a piece of ramen and was wheezing and if my wonderful husband had not been here I have no idea what I would have done. I kept crying and leaving the room. Thankfully, it was not nearly as bad as either of us was thinking it was. She coughed up the piece within a couple seconds and was improving, but I had already called 911. Of course it took them 20 minutes to get here and by then she was singing and dancing and thinking life was fine and I was a wreck and Steve was getting more meds in his system.. he had used the surgery arm for the heimlich. Terrible night, but it really shows how much I love for Steve to be around. He keeps everything together for me when I can't. He is simply amazing!

I think should have noticed it before, but tonight was the first time a realized something was off. Catherine was in her bath and Steve is in the field for another week and there I was sitting cross-legged on the floor reading Cate her nightly book. Tonight it was Tao Te Ching. Catherine is not even 2. The last book we read together... Leaves of Grass, and All of Shakespears Sonnets before that. When did I become the Smoothie-sipping, Early-morning-rising, Martha-stewart yoga-mommy?? Maybe I really feeled pushed to do so much and be so on top of everything because Steve really still is not home. Last week the one night we had any time to sit and talk we came to the conclusion that this is worse than deployment. We miss each other so much more than while he was gone because now, he has no set schedule, and when he is home is too exausted to help out or even hang out. He tried to send me home last month to have The baby, because he wanted to make sure someone was there to help and he doesnt think he can. But I know I simply could not leave him now, even if he does sleep all the time I see him.

Pumpkin pines farm

My wonderful husband and I have been hunting for months (7 to be exact) for a lovely piece of land somewhere in the Ohio River Valley on which to plant our dreams and our family. Steve thinks we can not develope the name of our home till we evaluate the land and how our cottage sits on it. But I am impulsive and desperate to be started on this journey. So I have grasped onto the name of Pumpkin Pines farm. Pumpkin Pine is the name of White pine boards that were commonly used in New England farmhouses for the floorboards. But I like the name because we would like to raise pines for Christmas trees (for our own use and perhaps to sell) and I simply adore pumpkins. My husband says I do amazing things with pumpkins. I use them year round from fresh, frozen and canned. But these are the inspirations for my Imaginary name. I can not wait till we can start on it all.

Pumpkin Pine Cottage??
Sounds nice.

In the Beginning...

Starting anything new is always tough for me. I like to ave a routine and a nice set schedule. My Cats and Dog are even on a schedule for me. But rescently as my wonderful husband returned from Iraq the Schedule has.. disappeared, gone out the window completely. He is more impulsive and spontanious the I, I suppose. I enjoy it to an extent and feel that if that is the way life is I should embrace it. So here I am beginning something new, something out of my schedule but fun. On my dinky laptop I can write what befalls me throughout the day. I have no goal, just giving it a shot. No schedule, just milling through things. I like new things.